Faith Surgery


Last night a friend of mine called me up in a complete state of elation. She said "the most wonderful thing" had just happened to her and she wanted me to know about it in case I also might want to have the "same experience," or, in case I might know some one else who might. Breathlessly, she went on to describe the "surgery" she had had that afternoon and how the Philippine "doctor" had actually gone right into her abdomen and pulled out a glob of stuff from her. She had seen the glob! Witnesses had also seen it. They also said that they had seen into the bloody mess of her belly.

Of course she was going to go back today for a couple more surgeries because he, the doctor, was only going to be there for one more day. At only eighty-five dollars a surgery, why not have a couple more? I asked if I might come along and watch and she said, sure.

Directions: Take the second exit for Mill Valley and go to Howard Johnson's and drive around back to building "C" where it says Marin Chiropractic Institute and it is the first room on the left.

I took my youngest daughter and we were welcomed at the door by a god-be-with-you handshake and smiling cherubic face of a young man evidently monitoring the morning's schedule. We were ushered into a room where already about a dozen people were waiting and talking quietly. Some of them were wearing bathrobes. Apparently they were there for "major" surgeries and this attire facilitated the procedure. They all seemed to be middle-class, intelligent-looking people (my friend has degrees from Wellsley and Harvard) -- a fair cross section of Marin County. Everyone had to sign a form waiving responsibility. They all knew that this business was "unlicensed", shall we say?

My friend Ellen was first on the list for surgery that morning. My daughter overheard the conversation between Ellen and the receptionist. Ellen said she wanted an operation on her transverse colon and deviated septum. The receptionist said he doubted if the "doctor" would know what a transverse colon was but to just point to the area that hurt and he would find something there.

While we waited one of the other patients was showing pictures he had taken at some earlier "operations" on virtually everything from cataracts to hemorrhoids. Always the smiling face of the "doctor" and always a bit of blood and some malignant glob pulled out of the body with his bare hands. Looked a bit suspicious to me but I didn't say anything...and always a hand or bowl or head in the way of the camera at the most critical moments.

How could such complex operations be performed in a matter of seconds like this? According to this particular patient because the skin is held together by electro-spiritual magnetism and the "doctor," by means of his special relationship with Christ, is able to simply go right through this "force-field" with his fingernails and go right into any part of the body and remove bad stuff. Although these incisions appeared invisible, nevertheless one should not subject them to water within twenty-four hours after surgery. There was some animated discussion about some poor woman who took a bath after her surgery and her abdomen opened up!

Finally, the "doctor" arrived, a slight fellow about fifty with delicate hands and pronounced fingernails. By that time there were twenty-seven of us in the room sitting on chairs, mats, the stairs and on the floor. The "doctor" gave us a speech about his remarkable healing powers endowed in him since youth. And he spoke about Christ, the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost and World War I and World War II and the necessity of spiritual magnetism and the possibility of World War III and how he was there to try to help us but if things don't work out not to blame him, blame yourself sometimes. And then we all held hands and prayed and then he went upstairs to get ready for the day's operations.

When my friend came out of "surgery" a while later she had a piece of cotton stuck in her nose where the "doctor" had fixed her deviated septum. She pulled it out for us to see and it was bloody. She said her sinuses had never felt so clear. That was her third operation and by the end of the afternoon she was scheduled to have two more. That would make a total of five operations at eighty-five bucks a crack.

If you would like more information about this contact your local chiropractor or the Marin Chiropractic Institute around back at the Ho Jo's in Mill Valley.